When I Became a Heart Mother.....
One day my world came crashing down,
I'll never be the same.
They told me that my child was sick...
I thought, am I to blame?
I don't think I can handle this...
I'm really not that strong.
It seemed my heart was breaking...
As, I'd loved her for so long.
I will not give up on this child...despite your best "advice".
I will give my child a chance...No matter what the price.
And I will learn all that I need...to help my child to thrive.
I'll even use that feeding tube...
My child will survive!
Will she require therapy?
What if she can't gain weight?
Alright God I can do this...I will not curse our fate.
The feeding pump beeps, at 3:00 a.m.
It serves as my reminder...
How many parents would welcome that sound?
Tomorrow Lord, I will be kinder.
Another angel earns their wings...
and I run to my sleeping child's bed...
I watch her then, for quite awhile...
Bend down and kiss her head
Then I cry for the parents whose lives have been broken,
And I look to God wondering why?
Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways...
No matter how I try.
And yet, I trust You to hold her life,
And guide us through each day
My mind says savor each moment she's here...
But my heart whispers,
"Please let her stay".
From... pacing the surgical waiting room...
to sitting by her hospital bed...
From... wishing for a good night's sleep...to learning every med...
From wondering will she be alright?
To watching her reach out her hands.
With every smile, my heart just melts.. despite life's harsh demands
For all who see that faded line...I look to them and smile...
You see, my child is loved so much...
I would face any trial.
That same scar I trace with my finger...
It's the door to her beautiful heart
I never guessed how much I'd love her...
Just as YOU loved her right from the start
A heart mom is always a heart mom...
Now wise beyond her years
And for those who have angels in heaven...
Our hearts share in all of your tears.
Everyday I will strive to remember...
You chose me for her and no other
And I will embrace that beautiful day...
When I became a "heart mother".
~Stephanie Husted
1/2 OF AN ANGEL'S HEART
it's a beautiful day up in Heaven. Jesus is rounding up his tiniest
angels, to go live on earth, and be born.
One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus "I dont want to leave, I
like it here, and I will miss you." He reassures the scared little
angel that everything will be okay, and that he is just going for a
visit.
He is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus, kneals down, and
says "How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and
take the other half with you, will that be okay?" The angel smiles
and says "I guess that will work".
But the little angel is still a little scared. He askes "Will I be
okay with only half of my heart?" Jesus replies, "Of course you
will, I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be
fine."
Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan, he
says "When you are born, your Mommy will be scared, so you have to
be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the
other half of your heart." "Enjoy your time with your family, play
and laugh everyday."
"And when its time to come back to Heaven, I will make your heart
whole again." "Always remember, that you are not broken, just torn
between two loves."
Another Heart Poem:
I had plans...
such perfect plans...
of how our life would be...
A perfect job, a perfect home...
a perfect family.
It seemed like it should be that way...
(of course we'd have our trials)
But most days would be sunshine...
Laughter,love, and smiles...
And then, as I held pictures...
of my child, not yet born...
And heard the words "a heart defect"...
My own heart became torn.
First came the "Hows"...
Then came the "Whys"...
Then came the question...
What if my child dies?
Hiding for a little while...
trying so hard just to cope...
Wondering will she be okay?
living each moment with hope...
I thought that perhaps,someday...
I could breathe with a sigh of relief...
And know that she will be okay...
And let go of my grief...
It seems that moment doesn't come...
As each day starts anew...
I realize I must start each day...
By giving her to You...
Whatever Your plan for her life is...
I trust that it's written with care...
And You are God no matter what...
(Even when life isn't fair)
So I will really LOVE today...
So thankful that she's here...
And give her too many kisses...
And try to let go of my fear...
I'll try not to be so resentful...
And remember that life is for living...
I'll smile just knowing, she's here with us now...
And hold tightly to each day we're given.
~Stephanie Husted |
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