We have been trudging through the valleys for awhile now...I see the mountain top, but the climb is hard and filled with so many obstacles. I'm going to be perfectly honest, I am exhausted. I feel mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. .We have been in the depths of hospital life since December 8. I have watched my bubbly, sassy, busy little girl become extremely exhausted, angry, and anxious. Does she have her moments of happiness, yes; however, she has many more moments of unhappiness. This absolutely tears my heart into a million pieces. I know we are doing what's best for her overall health; however, the process of getting there is extremely difficult.
I yearn for normal...our crazy not even close to normal but our normal none the less (I way overused normal in that sentence huh?).
I long to get Emma up early for all her therapies...giving her breakfast, getting her dressed, administering all her meds, and awaiting her busy day full of therapies, school, development strengthening activities. I ache to hear her "singing" and "talking" to her kitty cat as she is going to bed, watching her scoot across the floor to get what she wants, share her food with Max, wheel herself to her best friend's house, and share smiles and laughs more than screams and tears.
I'm guess I'm pouring my heart out not for pity or sympathy, but to show all aspects of this journey to our loyal blog followers. I want you to see that we have our moments...our low moments when it is hard to feel positive. However, through it all, I serve a mighty God who is faithful...even when times are hard. I serve a God who doesn't promise that times won't be hard, but does renew my strength when I feel the lowest.
So, I encourage all Em's loyal blog followers to embrace your normal and don't take the little things for granted. Take your kiddos out and enjoy the beautiful weather, read them one more story, love their inquisitive nature, spend quality time with your spouse, and don't forget to thank God for the blessings...even during the storms.
We are still in a holding pattern for Emma's next surgery, but until then they are giving her a "big gun" antibiotic to try to knock out the infection. We are consulting with a lot of specialists to try to determine the cause of the ascites and infection. Please pray for the infection to cease, Emma's pain to subside, and a safe plan to get her to surgery.
Thank you for the continued prayers as we climb this mountain. God is Good! All the time! God is good!